I'm trying to develop a more "it's whatever" attitude toward life. Not that I want to be apathetic and aloof, I just want to stop freaking out about everything. A coworker said it best when she observed how much of her time she spends being crazy. It's my J(udging) on steroids.
On the other hand, another coworker wondered aloud today what it would be like to see me get excited about something.
I wasn't excited about coming back to Anderson after being in Oklahoma for a week. I loved being in a place that was familiar--safe--where I didn't need to be in charge of anything or accountable to anyone. Where I could just breathe. And be. Where I really could be "it's whatever." I came back feeling really detached and... alien. Frustrated. But the week has gotten better and easier each day, and once again I am adapting and becoming content with someplace "new."
Today I realized that, in the last 13 months, I have "lived" in 4 different states: Alaska, Oklahoma, Illinois, and Indiana. That's sort of a big deal, right?
We had our Bridge staff retreat Wednesday and Thursday this week. We went to a lake house that had 3 balconies and a pontoon boat. I learned how to knee board. I talked about how I hated looking ridiculous. I decided that I wanted to make my job more meaningful than taking messages and writing reports. I don't really know what that looks like right now, but I do know that acknowledging the problem is the first step.
I don't have much to say for this week. Maybe next week will bring profound new revelations.
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