I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

Well, here we are: another year down, and another year to make resolutions, fail at keeping them, and pick up the broken pieces to create new goals and ambitions we will try all the harder to maintain. This year, I have "resolved" to write. Maybe it's for my own good, or maybe it's for the inevitable enlightenment of others. We'll see.

I'm feeling excited about the future. Excited and apprehensive. And scared. But eager to see what's out there. I want to do big, crazy things for God. I want to see the world change. And I don't want to be on the sidelines when it happens. In the words of Don Miller, "No one gets to watch the parade."

I learned about the idea of 'story' from his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Each of us has our own story, but many of us choose to be spectators to the plot rather than participants. I've been a spectator for awhile, now. Sometimes I think about the end of my life, when I have passed to the other side. Do I want to stand before God to hear, "Well, good job. You played it as safe as possible. You never got into trouble, but you never accomplished anything either"?

I want to do something. I want to sow the seed of the Gospel among those who have never heard it. I want to make lives better because I lived. I want to be faithful with what I have been given.

I few days ago, I submitted an application through GoCorps to serve for two years in overseas missions. Today, I heard back from the director of Adventures in Missions (AIM). If I'm accepted, I'll be doing a compassion/justice mission to fight human trafficking in Thailand. The guy sent me his blog so I could get a feel for the kind of work they do. It's intense. It would be incredible to serve in such an exciting, scary, heartbreaking, hands-on way--to break out of my middle-class American bubble and actually get a taste of the pain of the world.

But what about when I come back? How will I have changed? How will everyone else have changed? What would it feel like to put my "normal" life on hold for two years? What would it feel like to truly understand how spoiled and selfish the existence to which I've become so accustomed?

But what if I don't go?

When it comes right down to it, I'm just praying that God opens and closes the right doors. I'll keep "just doing stuff" in the meantime. "Dream big, and watch God blow 'em up." (Mark Holcomb)

No matter what happens, it's going to be a good year.