Monday, March 14, 2011

I gave up worrying for Lent (sort of).

I was talking to youth kid the other night. I was feeling profound, so I asked her what made her feel alive. Her answer included helping people, seeing a change in them, being a part of that change. Naturally, she asked me the same thing. Do you ever ask questions that you forget how to answer for yourself? It took me a little bit, but my answer was pretty simple: connecting with people, knowing them, and being known by them. As I thought more about it after our conversation was over, my answer basically boiled down to this: not feeling alone.

I'm in a Beth Moore Bible study called “Stepping Up” which focuses on the Psalms of Ascent. Last week talked a lot about God surrounding us.

"The LORD surrounds His people, both now and forever." (Psalm 125:2)

"He encamps around those who fear Him and rescues them." (Psalm 34:7)

"He encircles me and places His hand on me." (Psalm 138:5)

Beth wrote, "God has you surrounded. His presence looms over you from every direction... Nothing can close in on you without closing in on Him first."

And it’s amazing that I feel all by myself when, in reality, I’m completely surrounded. I'm sitting in the fetal position in the middle of a dome of impenetrable glory, power... love. I’m surrounded. Encircled. Overwhelmed. By the God who knows the number of hairs on my head.

"Those who trust (are confident, secure, sure) in the LORD are like Mount Zion. It cannot be shaken; it remains forever" (Psalm 125:1).

He never loses sight of me. I am never truly alone. He loves me. He has me.

So, like I said, I gave up worrying about specific things (in general: a life lived alone) for Lent. It’s kind of a joke, in that I should never worry about anything at any time. The Bible says not to, right? So I guess this is just more of a deliberate effort. Something done in the name of the Lenten season. Running to God instead of to this thing, this worry, this burden, this parasite.

“Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth.
 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” (Psalm 73:23-26)

Needless to say, I’ve been praying this a lot more often over the last few days.


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