This Is Home

So, apparently no one at home knows anything about my life unless I tell them about it. Weird, right? I’ve decided to start writing more about both significant events and the day-to-day hum drum of life. And maybe just give a quick review of the last few months…

So, I started working at The Bridge in July, right? We moved into our new building (The Bridge’s first building to call its own since its founding in 2004) in November, and it’s been a party ever since!

By the way, that's my head directly in the middle.

And It only took me 3 months to get my picture and professional blurb submitted to the website.

"The Bridge! This is Reagan, how can I help you?" Reagan graduated from Olivet Nazarene University with a B.S. in psychology in January 2010 and started working at The Bridge that July. Her roles include office administration, working with the youth, and heading up the Bridge Brew coffee project. She loves a good theological discussion and hanging out at Starbucks, and you could probably find her doing both at the same time when she's not in the office. In addition to being a Jesus and coffee enthusiast, her passions include quoting Elf, updating her Twitter, and correcting your grammar.”

Here is the office where I do all my administrating:

That's my computer screen in the bottom right corner.

This is the youth group with which I volunteer on Thursday nights and lead a small group for high school girls:

Here is the coffee of the project I am heading up:

And here is the Starbucks where you can find me 3-9 hours of the week:

I currently live in the basement of a lady named Lisa. She is a professor at Anderson University, a member of The Bridge, and one of the leaders of Celebrate Recovery (a Christ-centered 12-step recovery program offered at The Bridge and many other churches – for anyone with a hurt, habit, or hang up. I have those, so I go.). She also has 2 daughters.

This is a vertically-positioned panoramic (sort of) view of where I live right now:

But soon I will be returning to my original basement at the home of Reagan and Andrea, the worship arts director and children’s ministry director (respectively) at The Bridge. They have 3 wonderful children and a lovely home.

My week sometimes includes going to Zumba with my friends Kylee (family life pastor at The Bridge, married to Phil – high school pastor at The Bridge) and Libby (2^nd grade teacher, married to Gabe – middle school pastor at The Bridge). Zumba is a dance workout that is neat/hard. But I only go about twice a month, so I wouldn’t really know.

Thankfully, this picture is a misrepresentation. There are rarely any guys who attend. And I wear a whole shirt.

Things are going pretty well with Bridge Brew coffee. All in all, my basic dream in progress is this: The Bridge Brew coffee house will easily stand out and attract people – people who may not otherwise enter the doors of a church. It will be another tool The Bridge can use to be “all things to all men,” as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:22. A coffee house is a classic respite for those who want to relax, share, connect, and develop deeper relationships: a community living room. Bridge Brew will certainly be a place for those things, but it will also be a tool for outreach. We want to use profits to foster ministries already offered at The Bridge. Eventually, we would love to offer some free skills classes, Christian education classes, and/or counseling services that people can attend while enjoying their beverages. We want it to be a place for people to feel safe and loved. Because, really, we don’t want it to be just about the coffee, but about Jesus and the expansion of His kingdom.

I feel pretty out of my element trying to create a vision and plan for a business, but God has really blessed it (and me) with people who actually know what they’re doing. A guy named Bill, who is married to Marcia (the video coordinator at The Bridge), has roasted his own coffee for the last 6 years or so and was eager to jump on board as the official “roastmaster.” Donette and Sonny and their family, my relatives in Connecticut, graciously donated an espresso machine and many other coffee house items and pieces of equipment. And now Natalie, the owner of Mounds Mall in Anderson, wants to somehow partner Bridge Brew with her coffee shop, Maxine’s (which would help significantly with our funding). So basically, I haven’t done a thing, and things are running pretty smoothly!

[Begin shameless plug.] We have been selling 14 oz bags of fresh-roasted, fair trade, organic Bolivian coffee at church each Sunday for $7. People are all about it, and it’s been fun getting to connect with some other coffee lovers. If you are interested in buying some… let me know! [End shameless plug.]

So, what are my plans for the future? you ask. I don’t know. Right now, I want to stay in Anderson until I decide not to stay in Anderson anymore. It may depend a lot on how Bridge Brew is doing, or I may hand that off to someone else and pursue an actual career. I’ve wanted to go to seminary for awhile, and I could do that AU for a significantly lower price while working at The Bridge. I love learning and theology, but I don’t have a practical vision for that yet. I’ve also thought about going into teaching, which I’ve wanted to do for many years. So I may go to school up here and get certified. But I may not. This topic has hoarded a lot of my stress for the past couple of months, so I’m trying to make it a matter of prayer rather than one of worry. Like I’ve said so many times before, I’ve seen God do the impossible and unexpected in the midst of my planlessness… or when my plans get screwed up. I don’t expect anything less now. I’d just rather do the right thing the first time. In any case, for now, this is home.

Alright, I think that about covers it for the time being. You’re welcome, family – now you won’t have to ask any more questions!

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Dirty

This comes from one of my favorite blogs, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, in her post "The VWM gets censored.... kinda..." It talks about the divisions within the Church, the dysfunction of the body, the refusal to live up (or rather, "live down to") to what Christ created it to be. It's a refreshing and convicting picture of Truth.

I’ve always felt that part of the problem with the church is that is has no feet. We are a giant, wobbly, disjointed body with no feet. If we were a real person, there would be a documentary about our hideous existence. And the freaks that like documentaries about that kinda stuff (me included) would Netflix it, and watch in stunned silence because it would be so totally grotesque to see the Church, all deformed and lumpy, and barely able to speak with her own mouth because even her lips were at odds with each other. We would find out that she was indeed born with feet, but that she hated the idea of any part of her body getting dirty so she used her hands to chop them off. With her misshapen head lagging off to one side, she would slur that she tried for years to make her feet act more like hands, but that they were always a mess, always covered in filth. And even though it was their job to touch the ground, to stand in the dirt, even though they were designed for that, it made the rest of her body so uncomfortable that she let her hands whack ‘em off. Then the feet would come into focus in the background, severed, and floating loosely in a pickle-jar behind her, doing no good for anyone...

Where is my love? What is this pride?

Are you afraid to get dirty?

I am.

I keep trying to picture what it would look like for me to be a truly humble person. But I guess that's where I keep going wrong. Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest write all the time on how the truly humble person never thinks about being humble. He simply walks in the footsteps of Jesus.

And Jesus got dirty.

Photo found here.

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Hosanna (2)

Eyes be opened.

Christ is revealed.

Photo found here.

Some days, I feel like it's all I can do to keep my eyes open - to see what God is doing. Not what He did yesterday or what He will do tomorrow or what He may do by this time next year, but right now.

Eyes, be opened!

I've found that Christ often reveals Himself to me in conversation with other people. I love "talking Jesus" with those who know Him well, who have found peace in the midst of their own struggles of life or theology. He reveals Himself to me when I'm wrong. When I'm shocked once again at my own arrogance. When Francis Chan metaphorically punches me in the face with phrases like, "If I really believed that God 'sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,' why do I do anything other than pray?"

But some days are valley days.

Hosanna. Save, I pray. A cry for salvation.

Eyes, be opened! Salvation is already here!

Christ is revealed. So why am I still looking?

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Hosanna (1)

Today, my heart is a little heavier than usual. There is just a lot of suffering in this world. This isn't news to anyone. Over the last couple of weeks, though, I have felt overwhelmed with the pain just within The Bridge congregation. Broken families. Impending death. Seemingly small decisions that turned worlds upside down. The burden of those in ministerial leadership - feeling the need to carry the weight of those who depend on them. The knowledge and understanding that I could never pray enough. I can't do anything. I am the helpless, leading the helpless.

"Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause."

Photo found here.

Hosanna, yes. God has been doing incredible things in my life. But there is a time to mourn. That time is now.

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Right as Rain

As is my usual Wednesday routine, I am hanging out at Starbucks before Celebrate Recovery at 7 tonight.

This is me and Marcia at Starbucks. She wanted to put a straw in her hot beverage just so we could take this picture. What a team player.

I worked this morning, mostly alone, which was actually really nice. And there was a thunderstorm, which was also really nice.

This is not a picture of the office after it rained, but I once took a picture of a place after it rained, and I really liked it. This is the picture that I took and I really liked.

It's been a great week so far. I'm learning to be content, to appreciate, to say thanks. To be excited about the future without the accompanying feeling of anxiety. It's refreshing. It helps that I have a new book to read.

I'll be honest, though - I hate that I love it.

I'm getting really excited about The Bridge coffee business that is currently in the works. We want to start roasting and bagging our own coffee and then grinding and selling it on Sunday mornings to start raising money for the shop itself. Things should start happening in the next few weeks. We are, however, still trying to come up with a creative/clever name that doesn't include the word "grounds"...

...Groundsy Grounds...

Suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.

My residence has changed in the past couple of weeks, and it's been a great transition. Not that I didn't enjoy living with the former family, but there's something that's kind of fun about living with a bunch of single women (specifically, a mother and her 2 teenage daughters) again. It makes me miss my college roommates, though. I've done a little decorating in my new room/cave, and it really is feeling like home.

Speaking of feeling like home, it's fun to recognize people in Starbucks now. Since there are no legitimate coffee shops in Anderson, this place is sort of the hub of Anderson pastors. There's an older pastor - always in slacks and a tie - who frequently meets with his parishioners here. He must come here almost everyday. He walked up to me once while I was reading The Shack and commented on what light summer reading that must be. Friendly guy. But I really ought to start learning the names of the baristas, considering how many samples of Via concoctions they've served me.

Things are going well. God is faithful. He consistently and graciously reminds me that there is no need to be anxious about the future - to be thinking and planning, yes, but not to feel overwhelmed. To cast it on Him.

Last week, I was airing up one of my tires at a gas station, and a young man in fatigues walked up to me and offered to change it because it looked flat. Since I'm a helpless female and those kinds of things, I obviously let him. We made a little small talk, and I learned that he was 24, had been in Iraq, and had lupus. I asked him if he went to church around here, and after a pause and an interesting look, he told me he used to go but hadn't for awhile. He said he'd gotten some questions answered recently, though, and he may go back. I was a sheep and didn't ask any more questions, but I told him where I worked and when we had our Sunday services. I've been praying for him ever since. I never even got his name. But it would be incredible to see him there. To witness what God does in his life. To be a part of the work.

That's it for today. Hope all is well for you, wherever you are and whatever you do.

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I Shall Be Released

I'm trying to develop a more "it's whatever" attitude toward life. Not that I want to be apathetic and aloof, I just want to stop freaking out about everything. A coworker said it best when she observed how much of her time she spends being crazy. It's my J(udging) on steroids.

On the other hand, another coworker wondered aloud today what it would be like to see me get excited about something.

I wasn't excited about coming back to Anderson after being in Oklahoma for a week. I loved being in a place that was familiar--safe--where I didn't need to be in charge of anything or accountable to anyone. Where I could just breathe. And be. Where I really could be "it's whatever." I came back feeling really detached and... alien. Frustrated. But the week has gotten better and easier each day, and once again I am adapting and becoming content with someplace "new."

Today I realized that, in the last 13 months, I have "lived" in 4 different states: Alaska, Oklahoma, Illinois, and Indiana. That's sort of a big deal, right?

We had our Bridge staff retreat Wednesday and Thursday this week. We went to a lake house that had 3 balconies and a pontoon boat. I learned how to knee board. I talked about how I hated looking ridiculous. I decided that I wanted to make my job more meaningful than taking messages and writing reports. I don't really know what that looks like right now, but I do know that acknowledging the problem is the first step.

I don't have much to say for this week. Maybe next week will bring profound new revelations.

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Home

Well, it's Wednesday again. I'm currently (1) in Oklahoma (2) missing my Snuggie. It's always so cold in my house.

And, just in case anyone was curious, I DID put a hurt on a few Johnnie's onion rings... and a lot of other food. To make this post a little more interesting/colorful, I have decided to include pictures that I didn't take.

I also didn't order that entree, but it looks pretty good, doesn't it? They have the best cheese...

Anyway, I have also done a lot of sleeping.

I sleep in a bed--I just really liked this picture. And it really resonated with my faux-Asian heritage.

My mom and I have been watching a lot of this show.

We got each other all 10 seasons for Christmas! We were very surprised.

I have also been visiting little babies: my cousin Griffin (3 months) and best friend's son Joel (4 weeks). These are not them:

This evening, I caught a glimpse through the window of the most spectacular sunset I had ever witnessed. I quickly jumped in my car and drove the mile or so to the lake by our house. It had the most incredible pinks, oranges, and golden yellows... breathtaking. I couldn't get any good pictures in time, but it may have looked a little like this:

This Saturday night is the Taylor Family Shindig, in honor of my homecoming and the first-of-the-season game of our favorite team:

On Monday, I return to the world of 30 mph roads and being the church office mom... But things will be good there, too. Any maybe I'll even be ready for it. But, for now, I'm content to soak up as much time as I can with the fam and continue eating more than my poor tummy can handle. I'll regress to and turkey sandwiches and Ramen Noodles when the time comes.

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