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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Hosanna (2)

Eyes be opened.
Christ is revealed.

Photo found here.

Some days, I feel like it's all I can do to keep my eyes open - to see what God is doing. Not what He did yesterday or what He will do tomorrow or what He may do by this time next year, but right now.

Eyes, be opened!

I've found that Christ often reveals Himself to me in conversation with other people. I love "talking Jesus" with those who know Him well, who have found peace in the midst of their own struggles of life or theology. He reveals Himself to me when I'm wrong. When I'm shocked once again at my own arrogance. When Francis Chan metaphorically punches me in the face with phrases like, "If I really believed that God 'sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,' why do I do anything other than pray?"

But some days are valley days.

Hosanna. Save, I pray. A cry for salvation.

Eyes, be opened! Salvation is already here!

Christ is revealed. So why am I still looking?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Hosanna (1)

Today, my heart is a little heavier than usual. There is just a lot of suffering in this world. This isn't news to anyone. Over the last couple of weeks, though, I have felt overwhelmed with the pain just within The Bridge congregation. Broken families. Impending death. Seemingly small decisions that turned worlds upside down. The burden of those in ministerial leadership - feeling the need to carry the weight of those who depend on them. The knowledge and understanding that I could never pray enough. I can't do anything. I am the helpless, leading the helpless.

"Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause."

Photo found here.

Hosanna, yes. God has been doing incredible things in my life. But there is a time to mourn. That time is now.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Right as Rain

As is my usual Wednesday routine, I am hanging out at Starbucks before Celebrate Recovery at 7 tonight.


This is me and Marcia at Starbucks. She wanted to put a straw in her hot beverage just so we could take this picture. What a team player.

I worked this morning, mostly alone, which was actually really nice. And there was a thunderstorm, which was also really nice.


This is not a picture of the office after it rained, but I once took a picture of a place after it rained, and I really liked it. This is the picture that I took and I really liked.

It's been a great week so far. I'm learning to be content, to appreciate, to say thanks. To be excited about the future without the accompanying feeling of anxiety. It's refreshing. It helps that I have a new book to read.


I'll be honest, though - I hate that I love it.

I'm getting really excited about The Bridge coffee business that is currently in the works. We want to start roasting and bagging our own coffee and then grinding and selling it on Sunday mornings to start raising money for the shop itself. Things should start happening in the next few weeks. We are, however, still trying to come up with a creative/clever name that doesn't include the word "grounds"...




...Groundsy Grounds...

Suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.

My residence has changed in the past couple of weeks, and it's been a great transition. Not that I didn't enjoy living with the former family, but there's something that's kind of fun about living with a bunch of single women (specifically, a mother and her 2 teenage daughters) again. It makes me miss my college roommates, though. I've done a little decorating in my new room/cave, and it really is feeling like home.

Speaking of feeling like home, it's fun to recognize people in Starbucks now. Since there are no legitimate coffee shops in Anderson, this place is sort of the hub of Anderson pastors. There's an older pastor - always in slacks and a tie - who frequently meets with his parishioners here. He must come here almost everyday. He walked up to me once while I was reading The Shack and commented on what light summer reading that must be. Friendly guy. But I really ought to start learning the names of the baristas, considering how many samples of Via concoctions they've served me.

Things are going well. God is faithful. He consistently and graciously reminds me that there is no need to be anxious about the future - to be thinking and planning, yes, but not to feel overwhelmed. To cast it on Him.

Last week, I was airing up one of my tires at a gas station, and a young man in fatigues walked up to me and offered to change it because it looked flat. Since I'm a helpless female and those kinds of things, I obviously let him. We made a little small talk, and I learned that he was 24, had been in Iraq, and had lupus. I asked him if he went to church around here, and after a pause and an interesting look, he told me he used to go but hadn't for awhile. He said he'd gotten some questions answered recently, though, and he may go back. I was a sheep and didn't ask any more questions, but I told him where I worked and when we had our Sunday services. I've been praying for him ever since. I never even got his name. But it would be incredible to see him there. To witness what God does in his life. To be a part of the work.

That's it for today. Hope all is well for you, wherever you are and whatever you do.

Friday, September 10, 2010

I Shall Be Released

I'm trying to develop a more "it's whatever" attitude toward life. Not that I want to be apathetic and aloof, I just want to stop freaking out about everything. A coworker said it best when she observed how much of her time she spends being crazy. It's my J(udging) on steroids.

On the other hand, another coworker wondered aloud today what it would be like to see me get excited about something.

I wasn't excited about coming back to Anderson after being in Oklahoma for a week. I loved being in a place that was familiar--safe--where I didn't need to be in charge of anything or accountable to anyone. Where I could just breathe. And be. Where I really could be "it's whatever." I came back feeling really detached and... alien. Frustrated. But the week has gotten better and easier each day, and once again I am adapting and becoming content with someplace "new."

Today I realized that, in the last 13 months, I have "lived" in 4 different states: Alaska, Oklahoma, Illinois, and Indiana. That's sort of a big deal, right?

We had our Bridge staff retreat Wednesday and Thursday this week. We went to a lake house that had 3 balconies and a pontoon boat. I learned how to knee board. I talked about how I hated looking ridiculous. I decided that I wanted to make my job more meaningful than taking messages and writing reports. I don't really know what that looks like right now, but I do know that acknowledging the problem is the first step.

I don't have much to say for this week. Maybe next week will bring profound new revelations.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Home

Well, it's Wednesday again. I'm currently (1) in Oklahoma (2) missing my Snuggie. It's always so cold in my house.

And, just in case anyone was curious, I DID put a hurt on a few Johnnie's onion rings... and a lot of other food. To make this post a little more interesting/colorful, I have decided to include pictures that I didn't take.



I also didn't order that entree, but it looks pretty good, doesn't it? They have the best cheese...

Anyway, I have also done a lot of sleeping.



I sleep in a bed--I just really liked this picture. And it really resonated with my faux-Asian heritage.

My mom and I have been watching a lot of this show.


We got each other all 10 seasons for Christmas! We were very surprised.

I have also been visiting little babies: my cousin Griffin (3 months) and best friend's son Joel (4 weeks). These are not them:


This evening, I caught a glimpse through the window of the most spectacular sunset I had ever witnessed. I quickly jumped in my car and drove the mile or so to the lake by our house. It had the most incredible pinks, oranges, and golden yellows... breathtaking. I couldn't get any good pictures in time, but it may have looked a little like this:



This Saturday night is the Taylor Family Shindig, in honor of my homecoming and the first-of-the-season game of our favorite team:


On Monday, I return to the world of 30 mph roads and being the church office mom... But things will be good there, too. Any maybe I'll even be ready for it. But, for now, I'm content to soak up as much time as I can with the fam and continue eating more than my poor tummy can handle. I'll regress to and turkey sandwiches and Ramen Noodles when the time comes.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Grace's Amazing Hands

Today isn't too unusual, as far as Wednesdays go. Except for the fact that I drank coffee in the morning. I usually don't drink coffee in the morning. I would rather be moved gently and soothingly into a state of wakefulness by a cup of hot tea, not punched in the face by a cup of coffee. But today I opted to be punched in the face, and I never looked back.

Photo found here.

This week has been marked by a beautiful state of acceptance. Acceptance of what was, is, and is to come. An acceptance that drives me to move forward and to do so with grace. It's nice to be friends with reality, for once.

I read a devotional yesterday that talked about seeing the big picture as a mountain. If we get too focused or discouraged by each individual cleft or foothold--however insurmountable they may seem--we forget the glory of the summit we are to overcome. Each hurt, habit, and hangup is only a stepping stone to the blessing to come; the fulfillment of the promise that "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil 1:6).

Photo found here.

I can honestly say that I'm really excited to see what God is going to do--for the glorious redemption of the ridiculousness of the present. I can feel something brewing. Maybe it was that coffee this morning (HA). Maybe it's a stirring in the innards of my soul. I don't know. I can see His fingerprints in so many different areas right now, and I know they will only become more apparent the more I keep my eyes open. I think the key is to always be looking.

In other news, and on a much less spiritual note, I will be making the long trek down to Oklahoma on Saturday. I'm starting to freak out a little bit, as I've never driven by myself for more than 5 hours. And this trip will be at least 12. So say a little prayer for me, if you remember. But I am really excited to be home for a week, despite the drive. It will be great to see everyone again. So, next time I update this, I'll probably be drinking a Sonic cream slush and putting a hurt on some Johnny's onion rings. Mmm.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

To Say Thanks

I'm going to try to start blogging more often. The more I write (and the more people tell me how awesome I am at it), the more I enjoy it. And the less I have to verbally update everyone on how things are going. The less small talk, the better.

Today I am going to write "thank you" notes for my graduation cards/gifts/money. Those kinds of things always feel like a chore, and I often wonder how much they actually mean to the people who receive them. But I'm also reminded of how ungrateful I usually am. About everything. So quick to chastise God about not turning all the stoplights green; so slow to even acknowledge that He gave me the ability to wake up this morning. This is a pretty cliche epiphany about which to write, but it's important nonetheless.

I have a friend who writes "thank you" notes all the time. She thanks God for beautiful days, her sunglasses for their reprieve from the sun, and her grandpa for reminding her that she is able to bear children. I feel like I would never have the time or energy (or desire) to go that far, but it's an attitude I'd like to adopt. Who knows, though. Maybe one of these days I'll decide to do that too. Baby steps.

Thank you, Starbucks barista, for making my drink (almost) just right.
Thank you, sun, for giving us a break today.
Thank you, "thank you" notes, for challenging me to do more of being grateful and less of not being grateful.

Also, here are the cards I almost picked...